Obscured Vision
by McCoyMedical
Summary: Kakashi will never know the truth of what happened here tonight. :Night of the Uchiha Massacre:.


**Obscured Vision**

I wasn't really sure why I was here. Why any of these people were here. There was nothing to investigate. Itachi had killed his clan single-handedly. I watched as they moved the bodies. The stench of blood in the air. My mind always wondered to the same thing, why was I here? I was simply in the way, yet everyone was working around me. I could see fear in some of their eyes when they looked at me.

Why are they showing fear towards me? Just look around at all the dead bodies, which are what those fearful eyes should be looking at. I turned away to leave, but a hand stopped me. I turned and looked at Gai.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked. Was that pity in his eye or sympathy? I wasn't sure and there were too many things running through my mind to decipher it.

"I'll be fine." My voice sounds distant, hollow. It sounds foreign. I turn and walk away, this time with no interruption. Before I know I was running.

I had to get away.

Away from the bodies.

Away from the blood.

Away from the thought.

I just had to get away.

I found myself at the door to the Hokage Mansion. Why did I come here? I push the door open anyway. Maybe deep in my mind I thought Jiraiya was here. He was always here when something like this happens. And things like this happen often. Jiraiya is like a father to me, at least, what I think a father should be. I allow my feet to lead me. As I walk through the quiet halls, I soon begin to hear voices. I stop outside the room. I know it's rude to eavesdrop, but I could've sworn I heard Itachi's name,

"Why would you order such a mission?!" I hear the Hokage's angry voice. He was rarely angry, so I moved closer to the door, listening intently.

"You know it's a possibility that an Uchiha sent the Kyuubi to attack the village," I hear a women say, I recognized her voice, she was an elder.

"The only way to know that the village is safe from anymore attacks like that was to wipe out the Uchiha clan." A man, this time, said. I recognized as another elder. After that was said, I was practically one with the door.

"And that's why you sent Itachi to kill his clan?!"

I burst in. I wasn't even sure when I opened the door, but before I knew it four pairs of eyes were staring at me.

"Kakashi?" the Hokage said, but I ignored him.

"It was an order?" I asked. I looked around the room; Jiraiya was here, leaning against the wall, avoiding my gaze. I spoke again.

"You sent……..you sent Itachi to kill his clan?" I must have moved towards the elders because Jiraiya took a step towards me and the Hokage put a hand up. From the look on their faces I could tell it was the truth, but I was sick of the silence.

"Did you order him to kill them?!" I shouted at them.

Jiraiya had moved so fast I didn't even realize he was behind me, holding onto me.

"Calm down Kakashi," he whispered into my ear. I was breathing heavily and shaking with anger. The elders straightened up.

"How dare you barge in on a private conversation," Homura began "Now leave and forget what you heard."

"Like that's going to happen," I said. I could feel the tension in the air and Jiraiya's grip on me tightened. I knew I was being disrespectful towards my superiors, but if they ordered Itachi to do what he did, then I don't think I can trust these people.

"How can you do such a thing?" I asked. I wasn't sure whether I was asking these questions willingly or if they just came out. I knew I didn't know all the facts, but I felt as if I knew everything.

"How can you make him kill his family?!" I shouted. I think what I really wanted to ask, was why did Itachi agree to this?

"Lets go." Jiraiya said as he began to pull me away.

"No! I need to know!" I struggled in Jiraiya's grip, but he overpowered me. I kicked and screamed as he pulled me away like a child getting pulled away from a toy he wanted. After a few minutes I just let him drag me along. I wasn't sure where we were going but it didn't matter.

Nothing did anymore.

When we stopped, I let him shove me to the ground. I avoided eye contact.

"Kakashi."

I didn't look up.

"There are things you're not going to understand. Things that can't be explained. I know that you---"

"Shut up," I said. I didn't need to look at him to know he looked shocked. "I don't need another one of your lectures. I'm sick of you, everyone, trying to understand me, talking to me as if you _ know_ what I'm going through. You people think that simple words can make me feel better."

I stood up and looked him in the eyes.

"Nothing can change the way I feel now. My life has been nothing but a fucking hell since the day my father killed himself. And every time I met someone, someone who made me think life was worth living, they get ripped away, stolen from me by Death."

I turned to leave.

"Stop trying to save me, I'm way beyond that point now."

And I ran.

I didn't know where I was going, but I had to run.

I had to get away.

Get away from the fact that I'll never truly know what happened tonight. Away from the fact that I pushed away the last of my guiding light. Away from reality.

I never wanted it to rain so badly.

I wanted it to rain, so it would hide my tears.

**END**


End file.
